Attention B, DO NOT READ THIS

Should we just quick when things are not quite what you were expecting?
Human beings are built to resist or almost everything, we can survive high school, we can survive college and we even can survive middle 20s crisis. But are we built to survive other humans?
Ok so I am in a middle of the 20s crisis, if that even exists, I really don't know what I want.
I mean, I think I have most of what every Homo wants, a good career a good man for a boyfriend, excellent friends so I really don't know what is missing. It's almost like I'm in a middle of Julia Roberts bad movie, yes I said it I hate Julia Roberts. In this movie the bitch felt the need to go around the world and Eat like a pig, Love like an sexless Indian and Pray like a imbecile until she one day she found out that what she really wanted was a Latino dick inside of her. In my case, I'm eating like a pig, loving every bit of it and praying that the next day I don't eat anymore.
I'm missing my old life, I'm missing my old habits and most important I'm missing my old me.
I'm so hitting the gym to erase these thoughts. 

PS: Yes B I'm Human lol

Uniform Pleasures

So today I wake up with my sister screaming over the phone saying that her car was stolen.
OH MY GAYISH god, just what I need a str8 drama in my gayish life.
So, as a good brother that I am, I went to the nearest Police station with her.
I waited in the lobby as my sister was filling the forms, and  I started wondering, "where the hell are the police man" all I saw were masculine girls in uniforms.
This day wasn't starting to well, first a str8 bitch wakes me up screaming on the phone and now I don't see a single uniform dick in the Police Station. This isn't right.
Minutes later I hear a voice "Mr, can I help you with something?" As I look up my face froze as I just have a crouch in my vision sight, and BAM, I have a hot cop with his stick right in front of me. My first though was, "Yes you can, you can start by dropping your pants and show me your nice tight ass."
It was like God just heard my thoughts, not only one hunk police man, but 3 hunks and a daddy hunk cop shown up in the thin air. I bet that that masculine lesbian bitch cop was hidding them from me.
Finnally things were getting interesting. I was like in gayish police station heaven. God bless the person that robbed my sister's car.
I'm so going to still a car tonight, "please Mr Policeman, arrest me, I've been a really bad boy".

Who's your daddy

Yesterday I saw the most eatable and hunk guy in the world.
No, I'm not crazy. even my boyfriend had to stop to have a clear view of that intense body with a baby attached.
I'm not crazy for children, but when they have a daddy like that, I GO WILD.
Babies are like jewelery, they bring out our good looks. Every guy who has an average look, when we had a baby....POOF he suddenly turns out to be a perfect 10.
From now on bitches, if you see a lost baby, the first thing you are going to ask them is "Who's your daddy?"